Many times, we get immersed inside our own heads.
We try to understand the various dilemmas of daily life, thinking that resolving them will answer all our questions… or finally cross the finish line of everyday issues and be free from the last “problem-solving” task that will bring us peace in life.
When we finish a task, we often find ourselves back in the same old reward habits, the sweetest gifts from us to ourselves (mine has always been a sweet treat or a peanut candy).
In my life, I’ve often found myself mimicking other people’s rewards.
Besides my addiction to peanuts, other rewards made me chase other people’s goals;
whether for validation, acceptance, or belonging.
Totally unconsciously, I felt the need to reach other people’s dreams to feel fulfilled.
And sometimes, that can even be seen as a noble attitude, but at what cost?
Or better yet, at the cost of whom?
Our sense of identification often hits a wall of mirroring: we believe we want the same as the other because we’re often vibrating at the same frequency as them.
In fact, our outer shell (this whole personality we create for ourselves) might genuinely feel satisfied, and, consequently, one part of us too.
But what about the rest of us?
Our daily battle is to step out of a whirlwind of tasks without realizing that sometimes the whirlwind isn’t even ours.
We live in the cycle of “conquering the day” instead of embracing the cycle of “conquering life”… our own life.
This all came to mind because I had a thought and decided to pay attention to it:
“What if our own reward was re-entering the cycle of seeking rewards? What if the gift we gave ourselves after spinning in the whirlwind was jumping into the whirlwind again? What if the reward of dopamine was the adrenaline of chasing dopamine itself? What if our whirlwind was simply the search for our Purpose? (cue The Lion King and The Circle of Life). Wouldn’t everything else gently fall into its rightful place?”
Transforming our daily energy investment into generating more energy could be, perhaps, the best use of our energy.
Working on what makes us want to invest more time in work (and here, I’m not talking about a job) could be, perhaps, the best kind of work.
Interpreting external situations as gifts to help us look inward and understand more of our internal universe could be, perhaps, the best way to observe.
Amid external quests, admiring our own ability to entertain ourselves in the process of finding ourselves could be, perhaps, the best way to entertain ourselves.
There’s an ouroboros inside my head. Maybe it’s from all the spins of so many whirlwinds.
